~ Siapakah UJANG??~

UJANG???


siapakah beliau...???



adakah beliau seketul monyet...??? atau adakah setandan kambing yang malas mandi pagi...??? atau adakah beliau jiran sebelah rumah mak tiri belah laki pakcik sedara dia...????




SALAH..!! SALAH..!! SALAH..!!



UJANG merupakan sebuah majalah lawak antarabangsa (omputih baca ke...???) yang boleh dikatakan agak popular di dalam Malaysia ni....




apa yang bestnya tentang UJANG ni???



UJANG ni sangat best sebab lawaknya yang agak ganas dan keterlaluan, yang mampu membuatkan segala urat dan sendi dalam badan kita tergeliat....


ditambah dengan watak-watak dalam majalah tersebut seperti Incek Kordi dan lembu kesayangan beliau yang diberi nama BELIAU, Incek Gundala yang suka mengembangkan hidung dan kuat makan nak mampus, Incek Mat Despatch yang suka membuli bosnya (2 hengget), Incek Tandoori Payat dengan moto Harley Davidsonnya (kegemaran ciput) dan sebagainya....(lupe lak)...



dulu memang aku tak pernah miss membeli majalah kesukaan ramai ni....namun sejak masuk ke universiti, aku semakin melupakan beliau....beliau merajuk....erkkk apakah..????


:P



beliau tak merajuk pun....cuma aku je yang merajuk kerana harga majalah ni makin mahal....dulu suma RM3.50 je tapi sekarang dah menjangkau RM4.90....(mahal ke???)




namun sejak akhir-akhir ni kawan-kawanku mula mengingatkan semula tentang lawak-lawak dalam majalah ni....aku terus merindui beliau....maka semasa aku mengikuti lawatan ke Pesta Buku di PWTC, aku telah ternampak booth MOY Publications yang mana aku tau mereka lah yang menerbitkan majalah kegemaran aku ni....



tanpa menoleh kiri dan kanan, aku terus ke booth tersebut hingga tanpa sedar aku telah memijak beberapa buah kaki orang lain....(ada kak esah kisah...????)



dan akhirnya aku telah berjaya mendapatkan majalah UJANG dengan harga yang sangat murah...(RM5 dapat 2 majalah, 1 vcd dan 1 goodie bag)....



dan dengan gelojohnya sampai-sampai saja di rumah, tanpa mandi terlebih dulu aku terus membaca majalah itu....dan mula ketawa macam orang gila hingga tergeliat urat kentut....hahahaha....sampai sekarang aku masih ketawa lagi.....hahahaha....



hilang sudah rindu aku pada beliau....lepas ni bila ternampak majalah UJANG aku akan terus beli tanpa toleh kiri dan kanan lagi dan terus memijak kaki orang lagi.....hehehehe....



ITULAH KE'BEST'AN MAJALAH UJANG INI....


BEST TAK???



* actually aku suke kartun yang dilukis oleh Lalang....lawak tak hengat....cume kartun dia takde trademark....silala cari di kedai yang berhampiran...(termasuk kedai beskal dan kedai gas)

~~ 7 Do's and Don'ts of a Marriage ~~

* 7 Do's of a Marriage *


1. UNDERSTAND the nature of your partner. Don't try to change him/her according to your wishes. Learn to accept him/her with all their imperfections. Nobody is perfect. You should learn to overlook them. Be positive and see the good things in their nature. No one is completely bad. It's just that when we are angry, we tend to see things negatively.
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2. NEVER lose trust in your partner. If you trust your partner, they will keep your trust. Specially in front of others, never taunt him/her.
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3. ALWAYS give each other some space. Never suffocate each other so much that your partner can't breathe. Let them have their own friends and move in and out of their house at their own will.
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4. ENCOURAGE each other at works. If one of the partner is not working, then encourage him/her to do something creative, so that their confidence level may increase.
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5. HELP each other in both office and house-hold works. This show that you really care and respect your partner.
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6. SURPRISE your partner with his/her favourite dish without any occasion or reason. Give them some gifts without any reason to make them happy and strengthen your relationship.
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7. TRY to control your anger. When two people stay together, they are bound to be some disagreements between the two. Never be physical in such fights and try to be silent. When you are angry, count till ten. It's not a joke. It really works. It helps to control your anger. Otherwise you may end up saying harshly to your partner in anger which you tend to regret later.


* 7 Don'ts of a Marriage *


1. NEVER break trust of your partner. Trust is such a delicate matter, that if once broken, your partner will never be able to trust you again completely.
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2. DON'T keep nagging. Try to be more understanding and helpful. Everyone is made of flesh and blood. Everyone's mood swings time to time. Sometimes, if one is going through some bad phase, the other should understand his/her condition.
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3. NEVER make fun of each other's talent. If a person is good in something but you are against it or don't like it, let it be the way it is. Give them some space to enjoy their hobby even if you don't approve of it.
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4. BE with your partner always. Never trust others' comments on your partner. If you have any doubts, clarify it with your partner first and then think about the others. Even if the third person is one of your other family members, still trust your partner first and then others.
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5. NEVER stand against the career of your partner. If your partner grows in his/her career, it will positively affect you. So, be happy and support each other rather than create obstacles in his/her way.
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6. IF a woman is working out of the house, then she needs the emotional support of her husband. She is working doubly for her family. If she is working out and taking care of the house as well, so don't nag her, if one small work remains undone. It can be done later on. After all, she is also a human. Be a little understanding, she wil never forget such favours.
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7. NEVER buy big things without each other consent like a house or a car. Don't try to surprise your partner in such way. This might go other way. They might feel that their importantance is not accountable in such decisions. As while buying a house, one might like one location but the other might prefer another. It's the same case while purchasing a car, one might like a particular make or model, but the other might prefer another make, model or colour. So, it's always better to go around and do research on the big things and then decide on the final product together.


A caring attitude is always seen. You don't need to fake it. The reality comes out eventually. So, be what you are.

~ Funny Story 02 ~

** SALARY INCREASE **

One day, an employee sends a letter to his boss to increase his salary!!!!!


Dear Bo$$,

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think u $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure u will gue$$ what i mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

Norman $ooh


The next day, the employee received this letter of reply :

Dear NOrman,

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You mst have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world's leading ecoNOmist are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what i mean.

Yours Truly,

Manager